Change Your Stars

Have you ever seen the movie, The Knight’s Tale, with Heath Ledger?  Remember when the father told the son that this was his chance to “Change his Stars?”  I freaking love that movie because it pretty much embodies how I think of my place on this earth.

Now watch this part....

I can have whatever past I have.  I can come from whatever circumstances I come from.  But if I am willing to work hard enough… If I surround myself with the right people… and if I am willing to get beat up a bit along the way…. And of course, have a really cool soundtrack for my life…. I too can change my stars.

And I don’t mean just from childhood to now.  I mean RIGHT NOW.  I mean today.  I mean in this situation to the next.  I just have to be strong enough to get to the next step.  To the next star.

I have done this several times throughout my life thus far.  But the first major one was when I completely reinvented myself.  It makes me laugh every time I think of it!

I was an awkward, clumsy girl my whole life.  I stopped growing at 6 feet tall when I was 12 years old! I wore a size 11 shoe.  My hair was naturally wavy and frizzy – people used to ask me if it was fried from a perm. But I had never had a perm.

I had braces for four years.

I wore coke bottle glasses.

And because I was tall, but still wore young persons clothing – I looked even more awkward.

But once I started making my own money – I was on a mission.

I was sixteen.  Which is so weird because Mia is 16 years old now.

I took a look around and knew I had to stand out from the crowd. I needed a better job but I knew I would not be taken seriously because of my age.  I knew that I needed to completely change how I looked.

I was working at The Broadway and was really influenced by my girl friends there. Lancome was the “rebel” makeup line back then.  MAC wasn’t even invented yet.

Linda Evangelista, Cindy Crawford, and Naomi Campbell were all anyone talked about.

I remember I read in article in Cosmo about Cindy Crawford.  She hated the mole on her face, but her mother told her that if she had it removed she would have a scar – so she kept it.  And look at how iconic that mole is!

I have a large mole on my chin – but that was not my problem.  My problem was that I was a six foot tall young girl.  I still tried to wear cool 16 year old clothes.  I still tried to do my hair like everyone else – except I wasn’t allowed to tease my hair and make my bangs as tall as everyone else.  So instead of trying to conform to whatever everyone else was doing – I decided to completely do a 180 of how everyone else looked.

I knew that there was just no way that I was going to get to the next level if I dressed like other teens, so I started planning my escape… from myself.

For months I bought and hoarded clothes from Broadway, The Limited, Express – and stored them in the back closet of Broadway.

Then one day, when my parents left to go knock on doors, I was ready….I took every piece of clothing that I owned and dumped them in a dumpster.  I had all new clothes waiting for me already.

My girlfriend had just started working at the coolest salon in town, Yamaguchi.   I took her a picture of Linda Evangelista – who was sporting the “Flapper / 40’s Style” at the time.

Then I let them take over my overgrown, childish eyebrows.  There was no waxing back then. They just kept plucking.  Tears running down my face.

Honey – do you want us to stop? Are you Ok?

Just keep going!

Then I walked into Broadway with my new hair and brows and all the girls from the makeup counter screamed!  They could not wait to finish me off!

Then I got redressed into my new clothes.  And went home.

As I walked up on the porch and through the door my father mistook me for a stranger entering the house.  He jumped up from his chair and leapt towards the door.

Excuse me!.... Oh my god!!!!!

He was in shock.  He started laughing.  Then he kept saying Oh my God!!!

My mom was shocked.

Maybe because I went to work like this…

And came home like this….  

But there was nothing to do.  My mother painstakingly went through all my clothing.  Everything was modest.  Everything was fine.  It’s just that it was all dark colors now. No flowers… large collars… bows tied behind my back.  I looked like a woman now.

After that I had no problem getting “big girl” jobs.

Flash forward to nineteen – I had been through too much so I went to Phoenix.  Remember the Virtual Reality?  Remember when I rented the limo and pretended we were a much bigger company than we were?  Changing my stars.

Remember when I was tired of my commission being capped at the radio stations so I started throwing my own events, concerts, and comedy shows?  Changing my stars.

And remember when I needed to put on my big girl panties and become the mother I was supposed to be?  For nine years I chased those stars until I graduated.  At the same time chasing OTHER stars to follow my career path.  Sometimes there is more than one star.

Sometimes you can change a FAMILY STAR and a CAREER STAR at the same time.  But you better be willing to do the work.  You better be willing to get beat up along the way.  Oh… and no sleep.  Be ready for no sleep.

Be ready to doubt whether you are doing the right thing.

Be ready to feel like giving up.

But then be ready to call some good friends who will kick your ass in gear, take you out for drinks, and then send you back to your “star chasing” with the right attitude.  You HAVE TO have those people in your life.  Your cheerleaders.  My husband, Derek, is a perfect example of who you need in your life.

I ALWAYS have a NEW GREAT IDEA.  I can tell sometimes he either doesn’t understand why I am so excited, or he does NOT want me to have one more new thing to do.  But EVERYTIME he says the same thing as he puts his hand on my shoulders…  Babe.  All I know is  - if anyone can do it.  You can.

I FOR SURE need to be nice to that guy!

On the other hand… Sometimes along the way you have some “star suckers.”  You know what I mean.  The ones who try to tell you that you are making a mistake.  Or they are mad that you are always busy.  They’ll say words like:

“You’re just TOO GOOD for us now.”  Or…

“You’re just always too busy for me…” Or…

“I don’t think that’s a good idea..”  Or…

“I don’t think that will work.”  Or…

“You’ll do anything but get a real job..”

Oh yes – these are exactly the words I heard for years!  I still hear them.  And guess what I do.  DELETE.  Get them out of your life, off of your phone.  Get rid of them!  They are doing nothing for your star chase.  They truly do not want to see you successful – because it is like a mirror on them doing NOTHING.

Ok, let me jump off my soap box….

Along the way - the only way to succeed is to understand who these people are. All the people.  The people who are different and difficult.  The old schoolers vs. these damn millenials.  (Just kidding, I love them!)

In order to move up and move forward, you HAVE to understand where they are coming from.  It's just the only way.  It doesn't matter how stupid they are.  (Just kidding again! hahaha....)

And that's what we will figure out next...